I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We got so high we made milksteak
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
