I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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