Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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