Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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