i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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