i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
