I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
