The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
