Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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