PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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