I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
