he thought i was a dude.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
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