U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
