I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize