idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize