So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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