Duck Duck Cougar?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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