i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
How does it feel to date your dad?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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