I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
this just has baby written all over it
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
