Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
