it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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