i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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