she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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