butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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