Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
