you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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