Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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