I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
