And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
