We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I have fence marks all over my body
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
