I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
