Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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