He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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