dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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