So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
