my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
