Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
