There is no way he is gay with that hair.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
