yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
