Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
