i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
