i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize