He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
