the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
