What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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