my vag is so smooth its legendary
Small penises have feelings too.
well you can't waste a boner
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize