No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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