My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
