rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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