I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
