i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize