I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
