Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
