when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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