Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet

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(440): View more from Ohio

it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it

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(502): View more from Kentucky

she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point

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(757): View more from Virginia

He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops

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(443): View more from Maryland

she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.

(612): View more from Minnesota

His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!

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(734): View more from Michigan

I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?

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