I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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