i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
