i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
