The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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