idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
