in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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