the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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