He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
