Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
