He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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