I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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