seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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