We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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