yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
