My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
