what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
