You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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