I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
