I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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