Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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