I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
